LOVERS ARE PRETENDERS??

Is that true people become pretentiousness when they are in love?


"I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. And you are not here to live up to mine. You are you. And I am I, and if be chance we find each other, it's beautiful."


~ This is exactly the true. Each one of us have their own specialty and weaknesses. No need to be just the same like the one you love. No need to like what he/she likes although you might hate it the most. No need to  sacrifice all things in your life just to be with him/her. And the most important no need to be someone else just because of you want to be the best and perfect in the eyes of the lovers. Just be the way you are..  


What is unconditional love?

Love is the one of the strongest emotions a person can have. It is a tender feeling of affection that you feel for another person. 

Unconditional love 

• when you love someone the way he or she is without rules, not the way you want him or her to be
• is the only kind of love that fills you up. Unconditional love is when you love without expecting anything in return. 
• when you love without trying to change someone’s behavior and personality.
• when you love your partner without trying to affect him or her.

For example, don’t get upset at your partner if he or she forgets to do something for you. You might get upset at behaviour, but not at your partner. You have to distinguish between the action and the one who takes the action. Being able to differentiate between the action and the doer is an important concept in every happy relationship. The action is something you might not like, but the doer is your partner whom you love with all of your heart and soul. This is one of the most important concepts in happy relationships and the basis of unconditional love. You have to distinguish between the action and the doer. You should dislike your partner’s action, not themselves.

"Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away."

Can A Love Triangle Be Healthy?

Love triangles are selfish. 

Everyone involved is satisfying their own needs, without considering anyone else's feelings. The victim must let their disillusioned lover go. The cheater should open his/her mouth and explain that he/she can't be in the relationship. The other woman or man should wait in the wings until said love interest has wrapped up the other relationship.

Life is short, be honest and save time when your relationship is flying on one engine. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you. Don't hold on to someone who doesn't want to be there, and don't pretend you want to be there if you don't.

Should we put aside our feelings first or our beloved's feelings first?

• When we first enter into a relationship, our desire to merge with our beloved can be so enticing that we easily put aside our own individual needs as we begin to blend into a single entity with our partner. 
• As time progresses in the relationship, however, one or both individuals might discover that they’ve sacrificed too many of their own personal needs in order to please the other. 
• And in doing so, they’ve lost themselves in the process. Or in another very common scenario in which couples have been feeling merged, one partner suddenly asserts their need for personal space. 
• While this assertion is typically an attempt to re-establish one’s own personal identity, the way in which a request for personal space is made can often leave the other person feeling threatened, rejected, or abandoned.

Dr. Greer mentions that couples work to keep a relationship alive in the face of "the never-ending fight." 

~ Often, one person in a union gives up when they feel there is no solution. In fact, many relationships continue despite one person's emotional detachment. The fights stop because someone has given up, but the other person in the relationship perceives this as healing. The couple stays together because they fear that final break. Relationships with only one investor can continue but they certainly aren't healthy. 

A two-engine plane can still fly if one engine fails, but who wants to sit on that plane?

In forming a marriage, you become a “We”. This identity as a “We” is a healthy expression of yourselves as a couple. Your identity as a “We” exists separately from the distinctive identity that each of you experiences as an individual “Me”. When you learn how to balance your personal identity with your identity as a couple, you are on your way to forming a strong, long lasting relationship.